Buddy can you spare a dime - Impala Tech
Restoration Corner Aimed at Originality

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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old 01-08-2006, 01:13 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
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Buddy can you spare a dime

In the beginning there was but one model, and it was good.
Other manufactures trying to eeck out a living introduced other models in hopes of finding a niche market and it was good. General Motors responded by introducing other models and it was good.

You had big cars for the papa bears, mid size for the mama bears, and econo boxes for the baby bears away at college and it was good. Then came the "competition" and they were a joke. They were under sized, under powered, and wrong for the American market and GM did nothing.

The competition was starving, and looked to our excess wealth with want and so they changed their wares, GM did naught. They increased the amount of power through diligent copying of the German cars left upon their shores. They learned a large people liked large cars so their cars grew in size and luxury. They gave people what they wanted, and the people started to notice.

But low, all was not as it seemed. The government of the competition's foreign land subsidized the competition with marketing money, free shipping and handling, and dealer prep (tag and title were beyond them), and the people of America perceived value. They did not see the evil of getting something for nothing. For the nothing they saved in their initial purchase cost; cost them their jobs: as America learned to love cheap labor (as long as it's not my labor). And still GM did nothing for they were distracted by the bickering UAW wanting lifetime jobs and no change for more money.

Then came change; as GM said the people want chrome and brushed aluminum, give them polished stainless steel and infinite choices of models and trim levels. If we can not give them a quality made car we can give them a confusing number of models with different names. Perhaps if robots built cars then people would want them, for does not the competition have robots?

Then the federal government wanted to change things. Were they not imminently qualified to run a car company? Just look at how well they ran the country, with an entertaining police action to fight the demon communism, and inflation making wages go up and up (just not as fast as the price of goods). Change is what the people wanted.

And it gets worse, for if the federal government, can dictate to car companies is there any reason why a single state could not. Dude! I think not. So we had this totally rad idea on how we're going to change the world and all man, and dude, it's so totally awesome that were just going to go for it and make all cars do what we want 'cause like we can man.

The competition noted that only cars were being forced to comply; so they started to sell trucks. For as any fool can plainly see a small vehicle shaped like a truck to replace a car is plainly a truck and is therefore exempt from all of these silly new laws. If we, the competition, must comply with these new laws to sell our automobiles we will raise the price and add carpets and crushed velour with a luxurious new name like Lexus, even though it is the same old car underneath. We will employ American laborers to sell them and so Madison Avenue convinced America that luxury follows Izod to a Lexus.

And GM said we can build trucks, for has not Ford out sold us every year in the past thirty with their cheap truck the F-100. If Ford can do it, how hard can it be for GM, the industry leader (just ask us, we will tell you how infallible we are). And so GM made trucks.

But not just any truck they took the Suburban the most successful vehicle they had ever made and they changed it, made it into the SUV. For was not Chrysler a known failed business model now not selling PT cruisers and minivans like lemon-aide to thirsty prospectors (there's gold in them there SUV's). If we one model which has sold well for forty years, could we not make it into sixteen models, with no common parts, for the sake of change. For the people want change, the marketing department said so just last week.

And GM changed everything away from what used to sell well and gave the people change. But for some reason the people who wanted change, changed their minds and now no one wants to buy a GM vehicle.

Oh well luckily those low quality vehicles that no one really wants; the ones GM used to make, are still around and the people like them. Luckily GM was willing to sell off their NOS, and dies and other "junk" to people with the vision to see "the change" at GM. For we really don't like change and I don't know any one who really does.

Big Dave
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